WOMEN - VICTIMS OR EQUALS?

I believe we were back in the old haunt of Lincolnshire Wolds. Now we live in the huge skies, flatlands of Lincolnshire Fens. Atmospheric and see for. miles. Soon to be miles and miles of - all the same, brick houses - allegedly. Let's hope not....houses wanted? Land and nature lost. Schtum Trish, shut up!

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This thing that holds women back…

What is it? 

I was just asking, by the way.  See I don’t know.  Different countries and religions have different rules and I can’t possibly comment on them but do feel free.  Anyway, what is it - supposedly holding us back?  We know it’s not ‘the kids’ for sure! 

My mum, gran, dear old great- gran were all as tough as old boots. No easy life for any of them especially great-gran.  But what a magnificent little woman she was. Way, way back in time. Like many of your ancestors, I bet?  Brave, amazing women have fought and won, died, fighting for their and our rights over the centuries.  But, you know, mostly they did it fighting like men. They kind of ‘became men’ at those battle points. I know because I’ve done it.  You want to win? Become a narcissist or psychopath for an afternoon.  Seriously, winning is not for cissies.  And successful women know that.  Whether it be at home or the boardroom. Or the field of battle, war.  Don’t get all ‘womany’ now. When chips are down and the moment is now - kick ‘em where it hurts and move on.  And no one does it better than a woman in blue-ice battle mode.  Never be ashamed of your battle mode.  

(An aside: unless you really are on the battlefield of actual war, do not resort to physical violence will you?  Verbal, mental dexterity should be enough.  Thank you 🙏 We’re all about peace here. Gobshite and win the darned race but peaceful intentions. Yep. That should do it!) 

Tweet/X - ‘A certain British MP’ believes the political right consists of bald men with tattoos but not the angry mothers who help keep this country going?’  Which was, in fact, the question posed by the journalist. 

Just the mothers then? Do the ‘mothers- less’ not count Mr MP? By gum I reckon I’ve done my bit to keep this country going. By ‘eck along with most of you lot. Gobby so and so. The above is all part of an argument going on between a couple of high profile British MPs and another one about  - you don’t need to know nor care.  But out in the cold again, so we are. Forgotten no matter how hard we push for recognition.  Arses to ‘em!  

The mothers who keep this country going.  Quite possibly and probably but I can't help but feel - cheek of it…

We'll take a break on a bench, a fallen tree trunk, somebody's wall - anywhere, really. When you gotta sit - dammit - you sit. Somewhere in the wilds of dear Lincolnshire. My home county for the past fifty odd years. I guess that might qualify me for a 'yellow belly'?

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Back in the room and apologies because I’ve not been on various places and ‘stuff’ but in my defence I am quite old and completely alone. Sometimes the road to be travelled is daunting. Particularly when being faced alone, ageing and some. I know I’ve turned inwards and know that’s all my fault - apparently.  I know I’m on X instead of the favoured Blue Sky but, not being of a discriminatory nor political bent, I couldn’t give a toss. X grabs my interest more. I know I can’t say words that form meaningless flobber for the listener. And yet - I do!  

And, I know I must apologise to my blog members. No one pays but that’s not the point.  Folk have placed a loyalty and trust in someone and - d’you know what? - that someone got old.  And lost the plot for a while.  Not for the first time some would say.   And - I can’t guarantee the ‘plot’ has been fully found but no matter.  I, me, ageing and scuttling through life like a doubled up ventriloquist dummy will always turn up. Eventually…

So listen up - I’m going to get on with the show.  Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye! 

Our Deputy Prime Minister, Angela Raynor, stepping out of her limo to give a talk at Convention of The North to speak of, amongst other things, the hardships women face making it to ‘the top’.  

Do they? Did she? (Won’t tell you again!) I’d have thought if they’re good enough they’ll make it alright. Forgive my endless repeat button but I did, in what was ineffably a man’s world. In mine and other successful women’s days. Many of us made it. And two words - Margaret Thatcher. OK four - Barbara Castle.  (For those who are young - very famous UK Prime Minister plus also famous, female opposition MP). 

Let’s not go through them all but I will say this - for the purpose of the following written exercise - I will have to stick to my own sexual knowledge on the subject.  I simply don’t have the nous to espouse about the various sexual preferences. Apologies but I don’t have, and really do not want to delve into areas I know little about. As it were. But very happy to be instructed on . 

(Am I? I may have to take instruction on that one 🤨 )

Anyway, are you sitting comfortably? Then let us begin…

Today’s women have it tough/rough/harder/less money blah di blah. I’m struggling with it.  But the one area I trip up on and lose my ice cream cornet is ‘opportunities are not as good’. What? ‘Women are discriminated against?’  Pardon?  And we didn’t or weren’t 50 odd years ago? 

‘Women have to work, bring up the kids, walk the dog and (OMG) expected to have sex’. Unless, of course, they are single mothers in which case they are next to God in righteousness. 

Now, in the interests of fairness I realise that many women are left bringing up the kids alone because of the death of a partner, they’ve walked out and left them or -as does happen - they chose to be a single mother. 

If I could just begin because at this rate I’ll be three pages in and still covering my back.  And I’m sure as hell not covering my back awfully well, so far! 

So - women and life - is hard.  Damn right.  I’ve had one bloody hard life but I’m not living off scraps from the jungle in Ethiopia am I?  Being forced into marriage with an old man in a tribal country. So I’ve not had a hard life but, like many of you (and let’s be honest - words can be cheap ) I’ve worked hard.  

And I’ve loved it most of the time.  I’ve beat the men at their own game and won - often.

One way I did it was working harder, smarter than men. No one cut you any slack. You kept up or you lost.  No one mentioned the word ‘women’ they just said ‘good’.  ‘Well done’. 

I could go on and on but bored now so I won’t.  You’ve got the gist.  I’m perfectly aware I’ll be shot down and, sometimes, for good reason.  Facing facts is life being clever.  And I’m not particularly clever.  But I’m old school yet equally right up there with the current diatribe.  Women are human beings. Err - I’m thinking we all are otherwise what the hell have I missed? 

On Skegness beach one windy day in 2022. With the 'ol' pals' from Lincoln. The Mum Marie, Millie, Harry plus Barney and noisy Dachsie Daisy. Millie and Harry are now young man and young woman and will no doubt be embarrassed if they found out they were on here. Too late! A truly wonderful time, that day...and, just to say - Mum Marie has made it to the 'near top' of her very difficult profession. A profession heavy on the male employ. But she works hard and works smart. Well done Marie!

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We’re no more special than men.  Sometimes they win sometimes we do but when we all win we’re doing it right.  

They’re physically stronger, we’re consciously tough.  They’ve got different bits to us and they’re welcome.  

Maybe they get the job because they ‘is a man’ but I’ve never seen it.  Where I worked if the man was shite he got the push and if a woman was in the wings with good write ups she got a chance. 

No one, but no one, won it on using ‘their sex’. And neither should they.  If the percentages are off piste it shouldn’t automatically shovel the female into the role.  Todays stupid employment rights or what the hell they’re called need revisiting. If I’d still got my business they could go stuff.  Small businesses in particular work on tight margins and can’t afford to pander to anyone’s ‘not right’ rights.  In fact, in my day, there were more excellent females in so-called male roles than is supposed.  

And here’s another thing that gets my goat - voices.  I was trying to recall our female voices and seemed to recollect them as being deeper than today’s crop. Am I wrong? Just me adjusting to what sounds like a four year old on the end of a phone? 

See, see?  I know there are a fair few of you nodding.  

I only do equality when it’s called for and wimmin’ are spoiling it for the women amongst us.  I do equality for men also. 

It’s like our childlessness. It’s not just about women. I know how devastated my ex was when we learnt of our childless future life.  And I wish we could mix it more.  Mr Michael Hughes of  Full Stop Podcast is a wonderful winner at mixing it. As is Dr Robin Hadley, Dr Mervyn Eastman and many, many more .     

Can we not separate ourselves quite so much? Us and them. Matron! 

If you’re childless you’re childless, and if you want to get online to spread the message then darn well do it, goddamit!  Whatever your chosen identity.  Choices are ours to choose.  Sometimes, as many of us know, we never got one.  But we march on with our tribe and spread our message. Because we can.  The following incorporates everything we, us, our groups have discussed, pushed for, headed up.  We come together now.  It is mighty important.  So…

Where am I going with this?  Hang on - give me a minute - and it’s winding it’s laborious way to this - Assisted Dying Bill.  It’s what is known as a sidewinder. I’ve spoken of it before and I’m not sure anyone is taking too much notice. You should, you really should.  As it stands it’s one hell of a frightening piece of legislation being pushed through our Parliament (and it is) by one MP Kim Leadbeater who has the emotional capacity of a great white shark by the looks of it- so far. A terrific fight being fought in opposition by MPs from all sides of The House, journalists, academics etc. Many of us have got behind them all.  

At present the fight is being fought in the House of Parliament prior to it arriving on social media, of course. Thank you to Nikki da Costa @nmdacosta and @RightToLifeUk on X for reporting all of the Parliamentary updates.  It’s terrifying to many that Leadbeater MP has pitched for the law to remove the Courts from the process of allowing ASD on individual cases. 

For those like many of us - without children, close relatives, often alone - in this country and speaking for myself, it’s becoming a terrifying prospect.  Like a form of depopulation, particularly of the sick, disabled and elderly.  Orwell’s 1984 lives!  

Anyone from Canada should be able to speak of it as that country has had its problems with Assisted Dying  (called MAID in Canada - Medical Assistance in Dying).  

You should be a tad concerned.  And if you are alone and ageing, like myself, the future suddenly looks a bit scarier. 

We do need to be living in the here and now.  We do need to be living our lives to the best of our abilities and needs. We - lots of things. But if we live life in a vacuum or a bubble of inertia we might, just might, get hit with one hell of a large ball coming down the hill. No, it won’t be Putin. Nor Trump. None of them.  It’ll be our idealistic skippety woo.  Edge it with a hue of reality there’s a good’un. 

Assisted Dying needs incredibly tight legalities in place.  Try to imagine the possibilities of the Bill being abused.  Ageing Without Children as we are, and many of us also already aged, I find it rather terrifying.  At present if I have to go into hospital I will be alone with no familial support.  (And of course, as pointed out, if you have potentially grasping relatives it wont necessarily make you safer. I'm lucky I don't, as it happens, but for those that do?). But let’s go with our situations.  That’s ‘us’ - we- the childless. 

ASD or no ASD, neither side is perfect by a long chalk. But, as it currently stands, Leadbetter's Bill is frightening me. It's frightening a lot of high profile people, too.

It’s still being fought out in Parliament and thank goodness for the great journalists and MPs who are fighting - sometimes what feels like - our corner.  Keep an eye on it. It’s not to be taken lightly.  

Just for the record it is a Private Members Bill.  It does have a fair few hurdles to jump before it can pass into law. 

But frankly, because of it, my childlessness has never felt so vulnerable a thing as now.  No one is there to fight for me.  

Apart from this little 'Herbert'. She'll fight for me and, indeed, does. Even when she's not supposed to. I swear we have arguments and conversations - just like an old couple of numpties. She's my life, and that's about the sum of it. She hadn't been in a fight, by the way - just a meeting with a muddy ditch.

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